Ep 42 - F Bombs, Memento Mori & Terry Crews

0:07 Welcome back to the Head, Heart & Boots podcast. I'm Chris. And I'm Brandon. Join us as we wrestle with what it takes to transform ourselves and the businesses we lead. I don't know. What'd you think? I don't know. It was kind of serious. Should we laugh? Hey, I want to kind of bounce around some different ideas today. Yeah, we're trying to think about what to call this episode. Maybe it'll be shop talk. Maybe it'll be like, I don't know, chats and giggles. I don't know what we call this episode. Miscellaneous meanderings. But I do have kind of a zone to start in that's somewhat intentional. So I was listening to an episode of the Tim Ferriss podcast and he had Terry Crews on.

0:49 And I think a lot of people probably know who Terry Crews is. But in general, he's basically... So he's an actor, artist, performance guy. He's enormous. He's built like he's probably chiseled out of granite. The dude is a beautiful man. Yeah. He's just ripped. I mean, he's just... And a lot of his roles tend to be a little bit more fun, almost basically comedy, and always able to carry a ton of weight and probably whoop some ass. What would do... Okay, so he came onto the scene. Do you remember the commercial where he was shirtless, riding on a white horse? What was that? Was it deodorant or something? Oh, yeah. It was like Spice, Old Spice or something. Old Spice, dude. I mean, that guy probably revolutionized Old Spices.

1:30 Yeah. And he's been in all sorts of stuff. I think one of his more recent shows was Something Living Dead or something. Oh, and wasn't he America's Got Talent? He's got... Yep. He's the host of that show. Yeah. Just look over for Seacrest. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So big dude. Anyways, what was really interesting about this podcast was... So first off, the dude, kind of first and foremost, an artist, has a very unique... I don't want to go into all of it. But it has a furniture collection that's part of a very unique group of people and artists have had this particular group take on their collection. I mean, he's been awarded for it. I mean, he's just a very renaissance. You said a furniture collection? Dude. What are we talking about? This guy is a true artist designer.

2:12 He's creating all the time. He's sketching all the time. He's not just this strongman machismo. Anyways. Yeah. all that. Who cares, probably. But it was interesting to me to find out how dynamic this individual is. And it struck me that that's one of the things that I've really appreciated from podcasts and all sorts of stuff is when you get the ability to peek behind the curtain and get a much more rounded look at what somebody... what their life really looks like and what they really do and what they create. And it shook me a little bit in terms of... It made me think about how little I honestly know about a lot of the people in my world. And I was thinking our industry in general. I was thinking to myself, How many people, whether they be consulting firms or training institutions or service providers that support our industry that we really know so little, it's very one dimensional what we understand about the people that build and create these businesses and provide services to our industry.

3:08 And I actually was thinking about us too. And one of the interesting things is that in general, maybe you and I are a little bit different just because of some of the topics that we choose to wrestle with. But in general, people probably have a fairly one-dimensional understanding of who we are and what we bring in, what we try to develop in our business and those kinds of things. So that being said, I wanted to talk a little bit more about the behind the scenes aspect of what we do from a mental state. if you will. Just mental awareness, the mental gymnastics that you and I potentially go through as we build our business. And I don't know if anyone listening would be like, Oh, I can relate to that. Or that's something that I wrestle with as I develop my company and try to put more employees in certain positions, whatever.

3:51 I was thinking about that. I was wondering if you wouldn't mind running down that rabbit trail with me a little bit. I'm open. You're open to it. So I guess I'll start it off and see where it goes. So one of the things that I've realized is I'm stuck in the hustle of starting a company. We're in the first years of our business. And so there's this generic perspective that people have on what it takes to get a business going and the 24-7 grind and all the things like that. And what's interesting is that, Though I feel a pull to that, I'm also feeling like a different pull. And that pull is to be very intentional about what we build this time to where I feel like I can have a bit more control of the level of commitment, the time that I put in, why I put that time in, and what the result is that I'm specifically looking for.

4:40 We had an interview with somebody not that long ago. And they said, I spent the first 40 years of my life doing what others, what I thought others wanted me to do. And now that individual, this was Jeremy Reitz, actually, and how he wants to spend the remainder of his life doing things that he knows he should do, right? It's like, oh man, that just struck me. And that's what's been going on with me lately in our business is without going into much detail, we just had an interesting relationship with a client that for really great reasons, both for them and us, we needed to draw that to a close. And my reaction to it was, a bit more healthy than I anticipated because there was part of me that was just asking maybe for something like that to happen.

5:22 I was just looking at our book of business and the priorities that we have right now. We're doing a lot. We've got some lifts going right now that are very intentional. And I was running out of bandwidth. I'm running out of steam. And there was a stress on me of not just work harder, But it was me really questioning the value of what I'm bringing to every aspect of what we're doing. And there was part of me in wisdom, I think, that was going, Man, I think we're pushing too hard in this category and we need to be able to free up and focus our attention in this category. Where am I going with all that? The mental gymnastics. Yeah. right? That business owners experience when we're trying to establish priorities, when we're trying to balance what we do, why we do it, how does that align with public opinion, or the people in our sphere of influence, or my family that's going to ask me about my restoration company when I go hang out with them this weekend, whatever.

6:14 It's this gymnastics of why am I doing what I'm doing? And is it for the right reason? Hmm. Like, am I saying yes to the right things for the right reason? Or as Jeremy alluded to, freely well, am I doing a lot of things because I feel like others think I should be doing that? That's where my head has been. And what that looks like for a guy like me right now is this balancing of what time I'm working. How much energy am I spending during my 24-hour cycle, proactively engaging my business, thinking about the next thing, grinding out the content, whatever. And I'm in this place where I start reaching 5, 7 o'clock at night.

6:57 And for some people, they're going, 5, right? Wouldn't that be nice? Yeah, wouldn't that be nice? But you know what? I don't want to feel bad for that. So I start getting into this point where between 5 and 7 o'clock, there's everything inside of me that just goes, man, let's be done. And I'm trying to decide, is that laziness? Is that a lack of discipline? Is that mental weakness? Or is that me being a little wiser this time? Yeah. Of... I want to do this forever. I want to own and build my company for the long haul. It's a marathon. It's not a sprint. And I've got to have the fucking energy to show up tomorrow. So does that mean I need to get better at shutting off by seven and just ignoring that and putting it on hold because the same tasks, the same lift will be ready for me the next morning to come at it, ready to go, right?

7:40 Or am I being weak and I don't have to answer? I don't know. You know what that stirs up in me, man? I don't know if this is too dark, but I'm 42 now. I've said this before, but it's still relevant to me. I'm still kind of in this zone. One of my friends was killed in a car accident. He was 50. And he still had a teenager at home and had a teenager that was kind of transitioning out of the house. It was just a really poor timing. It's like most of us don't... die necessarily when we want to. And so anyway, it rattled my cage, partly because I hadn't seen this buddy for a while. Both of us were in the throes of our careers and all the things.

8:23 I had actually sent him a LinkedIn message maybe three months before he died. Hey, dude, we should get back together. It was just one of those things we didn't prioritize. It just hit me in a different way. I've had people I know pass away, not many. I think that's that, like, it's just the season of life. You start to get in your late 30s, 40s. People are starting to get cancer diagnoses and random weirdo accidents seem to happen more often with folks. And I think it's my version of midlife that I'm in. Mm-hmm. I've been thinking a lot more about death lately. The Stoics actually have a mantra or a saying that is just really common in Stoicism called memento mori. Memento mori is Greek or Latin for remember you're going to die.

9:05 It's just being rooted in this humble posture when we start every single day. It's like, I could die today. Yeah. Yeah. And then live accordingly. Yeah, that's not meant to be dark. No, no, no, no, no, it's not. It's not. But I think when you're unfamiliar with, like most of us grow up never focusing on death. It's like death is a dark negative thing. And that's not where the Stoics came from. Death is just a reality that we all are going to meet at some point. Yeah, prepare according. But I think Marcus Aurelius was a great emperor when he, 2500 BC, maybe it was his reign. And he's widely regarded, along with Cyrus the Great, as sort of being one of the great benevolent leaders of his time. When he would conquer a territory, rather than enslaving and pillaging and all that kind of stuff, they would invite them to join their culture and assimilate them in, the people they conquered.

9:54 which was very radical at the time. Anyway, so Marcus Aurelius talks about that and he journals. You can actually read his journals, his meditations. And he writes of this. He's like, I could die today. How then should I live? This was his personal journal entry. And I noodled on that. And somehow that's just been really a thing for me. Another Facebook post, somebody that's not much older than me, I just saw an obituary. And I'm I don't know. I don't think I'm being obsessive over this. It's not an unhealthy place for me. It's been more of a reflective of what you're talking about. It's this weighing and measuring of, do I give myself over even more to the business? My empire building.

10:35 I'm an empire. I want to build an empire. You do too. We're both very much achievers, ambitious, all this kind of thing. And we have big vision. And it's like, there is this balancing act of, I'm spending my life. Yeah. And the only thing is, I don't know how much I have to spend. And I know how this can easily spin out into an obsessive, compulsive thing. It's not that for me, but it's just this reality of, my friend John isn't here anymore. He's not with his wife. He's not with his kids. He's just, he's gone. And all he was able to put into this life was what he was able to put in up until that very moment. And it's like, we don't know when the cutoff is, but we're all spending ourselves.

11:15 Yeah. And so I guess I'm just becoming so tuned into that. Not every day, but some days. I'm just like, wow, I could go back to the office for two hours. And it means I'm not having that two hours with my family. And lately, I've been erring on the side of, no, I'm going to stay home. Yeah. I don't know. And of course, you and I went on our coffee walk this morning and you just started chatting about the Terry Crews thing. And we were talking about Hugh Jackman. Yeah. Another really interesting figure. And when I hear those kind of figures talk, I hear discipline. I hear drive. I hear dedication. And I can't help but ask myself, what am I really capable of? Yeah. Yeah. if I really invested myself in something, like I really gave myself over to building this thing or creating this thing or making this change in the world, those people inspire me to think that way.

12:07 But then I also have this memento mori in the back of my mind where it's like, boy. So I don't know. I wouldn't even say I struggle with it, but it's just kind of, that's the balancing act that I've been thinking about. Yeah, I'm so inspired by figures like Terry and and Hugh and Tim Ferriss and all the people. Yeah. And I think that pulls some of the best things out of me. Yeah. Like it hits on some of the best parts of me. Yeah. And I don't know what to make of that. I guess that's my version of the midlife crisis. It's not prostitutes and sports cars and... It's midlife process. It's midlife. It's just, wow, I don't know how much time I've left. My relationship with my dad too is something I've been, has felt really good as we're coming into a different kind of peer-based relationship right now.

12:49 Yeah. And I want to experience more of that. Yeah. All right, let's take a minute to recognize and thank our MitResto Mastery sponsor, Accelerate Restoration Software. And I'm fully aware, by the way, that when I say those last two words, restoration software, that that instantly creates heartburn for some of you out there, right? Because we probably all fall into one of two camps when it comes to software. We've either cobbled together kind of a version of free website tools and spreadsheets just to make our business work Or we're in the camp where we've adopted one of these existing restoration platforms, you know, one that has all the bells and whistles and supposedly does it all.

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15:41 I don't know what else to say here other than don't reinvent the wheel. It's already available. Download it, copy it, use it, bam. database of commonly missed items. I think this is huge. So many of us can change the numbers by just moving the needle a couple points and those commonly missed items can make all the difference in the world. So go check them out at value.getinsights.org backslash FCG. I think we are wrestling with a similar concept. I think some of that is age for certain. But I think another part of it too is just the difference maybe between what society has been pushing pretty consistently, especially with the rise of influencers and this fake perspective or fake mirroring of a life.

16:32 We obviously are bumping up against that as well. And so I think it's probably a similar wrestle that a lot of people are going in or going through. I mean, we've been meeting with some really impressive folks that have young kids. I mean, I'm thinking about Trish Wall from The Wall Team. The level of production that these people can put out as well as still maintain something that looks like family balance is really impressive. It's kind of like, how do we take this from this really heady what if, and I don't know where to land, and I'm not sure what's more important than the other. Here's an example, a close to home example that I admire. And I think what it looks like to me is two people that are being wise with identifying where they're going to spend their energy and their effort and why they're going to do it.

17:13 We have a client right now... who although it is a strategic shift, and it was not necessarily planned, they in some ongoing conversations, these two business partners made the determination that even though their business size does not warrant it, they've determined that it's the best move for them to bring in or actually maneuver an internal person into a GM position. And what's interesting is that when we look at it from a financial analysis, when we look at it on paper, the size of their business, the moving parts, it doesn't really warrant that. That these two individuals as leaders should be more than capable of leading their own business. And we can get stuck there. This goes back to Jeremy Reitz's version of, I spent the first 40 years doing what I thought others think I should do or thought I should do.

18:01 And I think these two guys, I don't know how intentional this is. We're still walking through this with them. But they've come to the determination that where and how they want to spend their time is not on the key strategies and responsibilities that a standard general manager should have and own for the business. And they're prioritizing that, which means they're going to spend more than they have to. It's going to affect the draw that they take from their business. It's going to affect some of the financial opportunities short term. But it was a real to make that. And I think that's a pretty interesting example and a very relatable example of a couple people wrestling with this concept and deciding why and what are they going to spend their energy.

18:42 And I have to... Hats off. I admire those two guys. Because it doesn't align with what people would say. Us as consultants, we don't jump on that because from a financial perspective, there's different solutions. There's... There's all these reasons that would say, no, wait. Right. And neither one of us is necessarily surprised. I mean, these two clients are very grounded in sort of their values and principles. And so I think... Dedication to family. Yeah, exactly. I think they're just realizing they've connected the dots of... us grinding and trying to put on and wear these hats successfully is taking away from our presence and our family and everything else. And I think that's...

19:22 It's like, why? Why are you trying to put that hat on? Is it really ego-driven? Is it more from a feeling of obligation because of what others are placing on you? Or is it you aligning your decisions with your priorities? Yes. Right? Because it could look very different. Someone else with older kids or whatever, they don't One is not better than the other. It's very specific to the context of the individual, I guess. I think my challenge with it is that I don't feel super confident in my decision. Part of it because I'm a driver by nature. And so even though I get tired and I want to rest, rest doesn't always feel great to me, even though I have to. have it. I mean, I'm not saying in any remote way that I don't.

20:04 It is hard for me to rest on Sunday. Sunday was a rest day for me. I needed it because I felt like I was losing my voice. And I'm like, oh, I'm a talker. I make a living with my mouth, you know? And so... Don't read it. Oh, man. There's no good way to come up. We went straight back to junior high in about half a second flat. Deep thoughts of junior high. There you go. And it was really tricky. But my son actually ended up coming out on the porch with his guitar. He's been learning guitar. And so he just played. And I actually really loved to sit and listen to him. Yeah, that's rad. It's very relaxing, cathartic anyway. But I was just noticing what was going on in my head. It's really hard for me to not pick up my phone.

20:45 And we actually... I ended up talking to him out on the deck because he's like, Dad, he's almost 14. He doesn't have a smartphone yet. On purpose. Yeah. This kid has not complained about it. My 16-year-old at age four or something. all my friends have iPhones and I'm the only one. And anyway, so we kind of went through a fight with her, but with him, he hasn't really balked at it much. And so it came up because he was having trouble scheduling a get together thing with his buddies. And I'm like, well, hey, what are your thoughts on phone? I mean, you've seen how hard it is for sister to manage, it becomes kind of addiction. And I'm like, and I feel it. Do you think you're ready to handle that? And anyway, we got in this great conversation about it. But I just told them how hard it was for me not to check my email.

21:26 Yeah. Not to check LinkedIn. Even those simple social media habits, as a business owner, it's just a whole nother layer. It's like, well, yeah, there's spreadsheets I should probably be looking at. There's always a to-do list of things I could be putting my time on to grow the business. Yeah. And it tugs at my sleeve. When I'm not doing anything, I feel like a loser sometimes. Yeah. Even though what you needed to be in that moment was completely present with your son. And I actually had that thought. And it was almost like the devil on my shoulder and the angel on my other one, right? Yeah. It was like, no, no, no, Chris. This is the whole reason why you're trying to build something. Yeah. Right? Yeah. Is to create a better life for your son, to model for...

22:06 for him. It's all about this relational connection here. This is what makes life sweet, right? Yeah. Is to have relationships with people. But it was hard for me. I felt like... And there was part of me too, because you're so driven, dude. It's like, I always just assume that you probably like, oh, Brandon's working on this strategic pathway document that we're next steps to this and that. You're very ordered in that way. And I was thinking, oh, Brandon's probably working right now. And I should be. And I'm sitting here on my ass just talking to my son and whatever. And I was like, no. No, this is the most important thing I could ever do. This is the thing. You know? It's just... Yeah. It is interesting. It's tug of war. It is. And I think at the end of the race, right? Everybody says this.

22:47 Everybody talks about this. Like at the end of the race. And... Either we have an opportunity to contemplate what we've done or not done or you picture those final family moments or whatever. No one is going to reflect on the business that you built. Yeah. Not from a monetary way. Now that's different when we're talking about legacy, when we're developing people, creating a platform that people were able to use to springboard forward to advance personally and professionally. Like that's going to yield relationships that will show up at the end of your days. Yeah. I think that's beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. It is. There is no doubt there's virtue in your clients appreciating you, liking you, respecting you, being respected in the industry.

23:33 But if my kids don't feel connected to me... Yeah. Yeah. Your spouse, partner, whatever. Really, what legacy have I created? Yeah. What have I communicated to my kids? Right? If that was the dynamic. Oh, dad worked his ass off. He was really respected in his industry. He was really good at XYZ, but I didn't really know him. Yeah. I wish I'd known him better. The thing I fear the most, I haven't actually articulated this, I don't think. I think one of my bigger fears and kind of surrounds this whole midlife conversation is Up until recently, that was part of my dad and I's story. My dad's a good man. And I don't know if he's listening to this or not. He's not a big podcast guy, but my dad was really excellent in his career. And occasionally I would visit him. He's a teacher and won awards and all the things.

24:16 Very well regarded. I'm always, it's still, even now I'm 42 and I'll still run into people. Nordic, Nordic, Nordic. Was your dad a teacher? And oh my God, he changed my kid's life or I was his student 30 years ago or something like that. And I would go visit my dad in his classroom. And I remember just being enamored with how he engaged with students. He really gave his all to that job. And it was really sweet and fun to watch because my dad was really goofy. He really got on the kid's level and he was just so good with kids. But he would spend a lot of that energy in the classroom. And so I didn't... So I remember thinking, man, I wish I experienced my dad the way his students do. Yeah.

24:56 And I've gotten to know my dad since. We've gotten way closer over the last few years. And I'm so grateful for that. But I think one of my biggest fears, I'm in the throes of our businesses growing, all these things. I don't want to leave this earth and my kids say, I wish I'd known my dad like his clients did. Yeah. I think you're hitting at the heart of the matter. And really, I think this is where people as an individual need to create the context for their decision making is what right now, and I don't think we can go backwards. So like in my personal story is I was in the throes of operationally developing a business when my kids were in the early, basically the majority of their middle school through graduation, a little bit younger, pre-middle school.

25:42 Very influential years in their life. And if I give myself an honest assessment, it looked way better than what I experienced growing up from my father. That bar was set so damn low, though, that doesn't necessarily give me a ton of badge of honor to put on. But I also can look at it and say, my kids probably during those years would have very easily been able to say, we hear all this stuff. We hear things about a growing company, a growing business, brand recognition. It's getting bigger. We're hiring more employees. All these things. But that didn't matter. None of that means a thing to them. None of it at all. They don't care about your business success at all.

26:23 And in a lot of ways, I think some of us look at it and go, Yeah, but I'm setting a really great example. Yes, you are. But if there's no sense of balance and correct prioritization, you're just showing them that you're good at chasing money or accolades. Yeah. Which is great. I want my kids to understand both my kids have a very, very healthy work ethic, dude. Yeah. Because I mirrored for them, busting ass. Yeah. Working hard. But I think they very well can say, we've had the opportunity in the last few years to develop portions of our relationship together that I could have done earlier. I didn't guilt myself to death or come to a certain point where I stopped trying.

27:04 I doubled down and I tried in the phases where I could. We've made some ground. My kids and I, we have a great, healthy, unique relationship. I'm very fortunate. Yeah. But my point is, is that I lost some of that space with them. They were in that category because my kids are significantly older than yours. And now I'm in a position where I'm trying to do the best I can to not necessarily turn the clock back, but to mirror for them that you can learn and you can make transitions and you can change your decision prioritizations at any point in your life. And I am trying to do a decent job. of balancing better, the drive that I have to grow and build this business, to serve as many people as we can, but still give the appropriate level of engagement to my kids and my family.

27:52 Because at the end of the days, man, it's not going to be a training program. It's not going to be someone that was a Servpo franchise on the East Coast that participated in a training event that's going to show up at my deathbed. And it sounds a little morbid, I think there's some kind of spiritual truth in all this. Here's what I've noticed is that when I'm excited to go home at the end of the day, for me, that's usually a good sign of health. Yeah. What do you mean by that? Well, because I think when there's strife in my marriage, there's been seasons where my wife and I really struggled on a variety of different levels.

28:33 You know, as you're raising kids and stuff, everybody's so maxed out emotionally in any way. Yeah, man. So when... When there's been strife and struggle, lack of connection, all of those things at home, I don't flee to work, but I'm mentally giving myself over to work because that's easier, more satisfying. I can create a win in the moment, whereas relationships don't necessarily have that same direct lever where I can do this activity and create this win. It's like, no, I often, in order to create relationship, have to humble myself and and exercise patience and all those things that go into building a relationship. But what I found is, the healthier that my evening life is, I have dramatically more to bring and give during the day.

29:21 It's so obvious to me now when things are healthy with my wife and I, and things are healthier with my kids, it changes from hour to hour, it feels like. But when I'm in a healthy, humble posture where I'm not reactive, and I'm engaged with what's happening at home, and I'm not pulling my laptop up and deciding to do work, when really often, that's an easier thing than for me to engage in the home life. If I'm honest with myself, I, over the years... Because I can brag about how I put in more time after the kids went to bed. Yeah. That's seen as virtuous by other business owners.

30:02 Because we all, I think, do this to some level. Yeah. We just don't necessarily connect what's actually happening inside us. Like, why are we doing that? Like, why? Yeah. So I have noticed this is a fundamental truth of the universe for me. which is when things are healthy at home, I'm always bringing a better self to my work. Yeah. And it's actually not opposite. Yes. When I'm struggling in my work, but I'm prioritizing health, somehow I have a place that I can go refuel to then be better the next day when I come to work. Yeah. It's like rebounding from a setback at work becomes easier. Yes. Because that foundation is there.

30:42 Because there's actually rest. Yeah. Yeah. At the end of the day. Yes. You know what I mean? Yeah. Boy, that is interesting. I think that that's kind of the... I know we're just having a conversation, but of course, I try to synthesize these thoughts as best as I can. Because my goal is I just want somebody to be able to listen to conversations like this and be like, okay, how does this apply? Like where is that maybe a name or a description of something that I've experienced as well? Yeah. So I think part of what comes to my mind when you say that is, when we think about the level of commitment or the level of work that we're giving our business, that we're giving in these certain categories in our life, kids, relationships, yada, yada, I think the opportunity there is just to be really aware of...

31:23 what is most valuable to you. Because people being in a different family state may very well have a different bandwidth. And so I think the point here is instead of seeing it as a weakness, which is easy for me to wrestle with, is that I feel like I want to categorize it into being lazy or categorize it into I don't have the same level of discipline as someone else or I'm not entrepreneurial enough because I'm not so driven by this thing that I want nothing else but to eat, I think it's more of the wisdom is, look at your current situation in the context of you, your family, your sphere of influence, and your business and prioritize where you spend your energy on the things that will mean the most to you when it's all over.

32:11 Yeah. Like at the end of the race, what are you going to be most excited about that you built? And spend your energies appropriately, again, in the context of your life, your kids' age, your spouse and partner's marriage, like how long you've... Whatever. And don't be afraid to do what you know you should do based on your own priorities versus doing what you feel like others should. think you should be doing. Jeremy needs to write a book, dude. And he needs to do it all on the premise of that saying because it's so valuable. I think though, and this came up a bit when we were chatting with Michelle on Restoration Today earlier, I think there's another angle to it as well. And it's that alignment piece.

32:51 Yeah. So I used to run this entrepreneurs forum cause like 10 years ago where monthly I'd invite a entrepreneur speaker and there'd be 40 or 50 of us that would... have lunch together while we listen to this person talk. And one of the people we had was Alfred Lin, who was one of the co-founders of Zappos. He flew up from Vegas and came to our lunch thing. And one of the things he said, because they were growing so fast at the time, like at the time, I think that maybe they had 1500 employees. Now they probably have 4000 or something. But they were like really scaling hard. And he was talking about hiring executives in particular. And he said, one of the things they used to do is they would take that executive and their spouse out. Oh, yeah. Because they wanted to see the little and big things.

33:33 the behaviors. Yeah. To see whether this person is an integrated leader, meaning they're the same person with their spouse or their kids or at the ballgame as they are with their downline employees. Yeah. Because it's a really common problem, right? Yeah. Of executives. You get a portion of them that rise up to the top that... have one face they put on in this environment, another face they put on in another. And they didn't want people like that. They wanted to have people that had what he called integrated personalities. And ever since I heard that, I'm like, yeah, that, wow, that feels like a really important thing. Yeah. It feels like a really important thing. And I think one aspect of that is, if I want my team, my partners, to show up to our work as their best self, that requires health on all levels.

34:21 That means taking care of our relationships at home, our personal health, all that kind of stuff. If I want my team, I want them to bring their best to the work, I also have to prioritize bringing my best. Like I talked about, for me, it's just the discipline of if things are broken or... in chaos at home, I can't just ignore that and sprint toward my work. Because then I'm bringing a broken version of myself to my work. It's like, because I've got these nagging thoughts. I've got these stressors tugging at my sleeve in the background. No matter how much I try to compartmentalize, I just don't think any of us can do that entirely. If things are broken at home or in our personal sphere... we're bringing a broken, damaged version of ourself to our work.

35:04 And how can we expect to get our people to give their best if we aren't? Yeah. No, it's solid. I just need to do a better job remembering that in the moment. Oh, man. Right? That's the thing. You can always get really good at hindsight, look backwards and say, oh, I woulda, coulda, shoulda. It's just how good do you do at modifying your decision process and how you think through it. live versus always looking backwards. But you're spot on, dude. I think that's the zone. I think that that's what I'm hearing when I watch some of these higher level achievers and producers do what they do is just trying to balance that again with context, with what's important to me, what's important to the promises that I've made to my family.

35:48 And staying, like you said, aligned. Jim Dethmer talks about this. We always talk about Jim Dethmer. Jim, when are you going to come on the show? He comes up all the time. I know. I know. We're actually trying to get him on the show, but we'll see. I really never give up on that. So eventually it's going to happen. But Jim talks about this. He talks about this concept of the full body. Yes. Which is a little bit woo-woo. It's a little bit like new age. What do you mean full body? Yes. Yes. Well, he just describes it as I think all of us have this, when we're making a decision, sometimes we make a yes decision and there's a kind of a part of us that's like, something doesn't feel quite right about this. Either it's our ego, like there's maybe a... a negative motivation underline it that you're kind of, you're kind of, and you just, you know, you have those decisions, whether it's a hiring decision or an investment decision, or just a process change in your business or any, anything of that sort, or even personal life stuff where you're just like, there's this thing you're kind of pushing out.

36:43 You don't really want to take a close look at because the rest of it's pretty awesome. Anyway, he talks about this concept of full body. Yes. That, that intellectually, emotionally, and physically it's a yes. I'm in. I'm in. There's another dude, Kevin Rose. Kevin Rose is a technology entrepreneur. He was on Tim Ferriss' podcast. Kevin Rose talks about this. He actually said it, not my words. I'm pretty sure he said it's either a fuck yes or it's a no. Now, of course, it's funny because the context... Actually, it was the guy who started CD Baby. It's not Kevin Rose. It was another dude based in Portland. Very successful entrepreneur. Anyway, there's... Now, of course, he's worth like $25 million now. So is it a little easier to vet your opportunities and your choice of activities through that lens of it's either a hell yes or it's no?

37:26 Yeah. Well, sure. Probably. Yeah. But it does make you think it's like, how much of my ego is coming in to my choice of doing this versus a clear sense of purpose? Yeah. Or determination? I think that's it. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, for sure. And choosing to make our decisions and to sort of organize our actions and behaviors around a sense of purpose and direction and intention. Versus guilt, shame. Guilt, shame or desire for accolade or desire for affirmation and all these other sort of ego drives that we have. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's a solid place to land the plane, dude. I think you're spot on. I'm not going to add anything else. We are still firmly in the explicit content realm of the internet.

38:09 We didn't get out of there. Yeah, that's a fact. This was an afterward heavy show. A little bit. All right, guys. I hope you fucking enjoyed that. We'll see you next time. All right, everybody. Hey, thanks for joining us for another episode of Head, Heart & Boots. And if you're enjoying the show, but you love this episode, please hit follow, formerly known as subscribe, write us a review, or share this episode with a friend. Share it on LinkedIn, share it via text, whatever. It all helps. Thanks for listening.