Ep 158 - "Maybe You Need A Theme"

0:00 Wow. How many of you have listened to the Head, Heart & Boots podcast? I can't tell you that reaction, how much that means to us. Welcome back to the Head, Heart & Boots podcast. I'm Chris. And I'm Brennan. Join us as we wrestle with what it takes to transform ourselves and the businesses we lead. This new camera angle makes my arms look smaller than yours. I'm noticing that and I really appreciate it. I thought you did that on purpose. No, I don't. I didn't. And I am not happy with it. I almost caught you dropping an F-bomb on record. We got to remember... Mister. Mister. We got to remember our old year's resolution. Yeah. Which is to watch our mouths. That's right. A little less salt on the potato. Yeah. You know what, man?

0:40 I've been leaning into it. Yeah. Well, we'll get into it as part of our just say no to New Year's resolutions, right? I had an interesting... Yeah. That's interesting because I had a conversation today where language came up. Really? And it was... It was a downline leader that was remarking on their experience with an upline leader and using language inappropriately and how it made them feel. It was interesting. I'm telling you. More and more motivation. Make me clean it up. That's right. Clean it up. Yeah. Yeah. Well, welcome back. Maybe your New Year's resolution was to listen to Head Heart and Boots because you heard everybody talking about it and you're like, gosh, I need to finally take in an episode. Hey, I love that resolution. It's an excellent... Whoever that is, you should follow through.

1:21 Yeah. But you're like, what's this about? Who are these guys? So Head Heart and Boots is the founder's podcast for Floodlight Consulting Group. Brandon and I are the founders of that company. And... Podcasting was something that we always kind of wanted to do and we had the equipment for it. We set up studio and here we are 160 160 episodes pretty dang close to 160. I think we're in that range later. Yeah, which is insane. Yeah Quite a ride. But what is floodlight consulting group about? Well, we we serve the restoration industry. We serve restorers like you with full service consulting. Maybe we help our restorer clients grow and achieve the goals and objectives that they have.

2:02 Our client book this past year, final accounting, quarter billion dollars in revenue between our clients. Yeah, maybe more. So If you're looking for a battle buddy, you're looking for a partner, a growth partner for your business, now is the time to reach out. You want to kick the tires on what it would look like to hire a consultant, a coach, somebody to pace with you and help increase the capacity of your leadership team by supporting you in this growth process. Reach out. Find us at floodlightgrp.com. We'll set up a call. We'll talk shop. We'll see if it's the right fit. Potentially put some rocket fuel in your business moving forward in 2025. Love it. Love it.

2:42 Yeah. So today's show, gang, we're going to do... I mean, we're in... This will be like week two or three, maybe of the new year, by the time this one comes out. Chris and I kind of made jokes about this. In fact, I think we recorded an episode at the beginning of last year, just say no to New Year's resolutions. Yeah. However, that's a bit tongue-in-cheek, right? This is that time of year, everybody gets into the gym again for the first time for a solid 45 days, and then you start going in and nobody's there anymore. But that's kind of why you and I have stayed away from, in quotes, New Year's resolutions. However... That being said, we are very adamant about finding areas for us to focus on in terms of personal and professional growth.

3:24 This year, you kind of leaned into more of this idea of a theme on the year. So I wanted to unpack that with you a little bit more and just kind of chew on that a little bit and give people maybe a slightly different perspective on how to pursue growth. change in the year without it being one of those things that we get really excited about for 45 days and then it evaporates into nothingness, you know? Yeah. So what is this theme concept? Well, I stumbled on this. Well, let's just, let's take it a little bit further back. So I just came back from vacation, went with a family on a cruise to the Caribbean. That was fun. I got some sunshine in the winter, which was... Helps depression. I highly recommend it, to be honest. We started by, we started the prior two years ago, going to Phoenix and visiting my parents.

4:09 Yeah. You know, it's like we walk out in flip-flops and it's 80 degrees in the morning, you know, with your coffee. It was 39 at home. It's really wonderful for those of you that don't live in Phoenix or you live in a place like Oregon where we are and it's raining and gray. Anyway, so I was on the cruise and it just gave me a lot of time to reflect, to sit out on the deck of the boat, conversations with my wife and my kids and just this reflection of who am I in this moment on this cruise ship this year relative to who I was the prior year, sitting in that same spot on the cruise ship, because we did a family cruise the prior year as well with my extended family. And to be honest, I had to deal with a fair bit of disappointment.

4:51 You know, that there were certain areas of my life, professionally and personally, where I just recognized very little progress was made. And I think the conviction in me that started to form over vacation was, I do not want to be sitting on that deck chair this time next year, what is now this year, the same person. And I think I'm really pleased and really proud of some of the progress and certain things that I was able to overcome and skill up in and so forth over this past year. But there's also been past years where not a lot of movement happened. And that doesn't feel good. And so through that process, I've been reading more and so forth.

5:32 And I stumbled on this newsletter from Donald Miller, the CEO and founder of StoryBrand. And he was just... It was a very simple email just about, hey, this is how I'm thinking about this coming year of for a long time, just kind of not bothered with resolutions, but instead this idea of a theme. What's my focus and my priority for? What is that focus going to be this year? And then what are the four or five most impactful supporting behaviors or commitments that I'm making that is going to enable me to chase that theme? Right. And so... I don't even remember all the details from his thing. He broke down what his theme was in his fourth thing.

6:13 His theme was he wants to be more serious. And I'm totally paraphrasing and probably adding my own narrative to his four bullet points. But he was just talking about how he, I think the business has gotten to a place he's had tremendous success to where he's kind of on cruise control, so to speak. Pretty casual with the effort he was putting in the business and so forth. And maybe some of his interactions with his employees and leaders. And so his theme is to be serious this year, to double down in certain areas of his personal and professional life. And he listed those four or five key things he was going to focus on. One of them was his personal health and nutrition. And so I liked that framework so much. So I even some people saw I did a little LinkedIn live and I brought that up and was just unpacking some of my own focus for this year.

6:59 But it did. It really got me thinking, is it possible for me to narrow down the things that I feel like I need to be focused and oriented around this next year into a single theme? And to be quite candid, I have my vision document for this year. My personal plan is what I titled it. Yeah. And I'm still in it. I was talking to my wife about it last night. Yeah. Tomorrow night, I have a guys gathering. My intention is to take my rough draft and read it to them and get their input. And I've already talked to you about being one of my editors. Yeah. But I really love it. And it's really forcing me to think way beyond just whatever growth goals we have for the business and... like specific health or fitness goals that I might have and just say, okay, what is the 30,000 foot thing that I'm chasing that at the end of this next year, I can chart and see material progress and that's that thing.

7:51 It's forced me to think a lot more critically and spend a lot more time reflecting. It's stoked a lot of personal reflection. You know, this topic is so interesting to me because I... I feel like this is a version of what shows up in other areas of my life where I act one way at home in terms of the way that I'm stewarding resources, time, energy, things, thoughts. But then when I go to work, right, I'm so keyed in on, you know, you change what you measure, right? You got to inspect what you expect. Like I have all these cadences of behaviors and things that we teach and that we try to orient our company around. to be really proactive and accountable to how we use and leverage resources and make growth in the business.

8:37 But then for whatever reason, I anticipate at times, and this is more just subconscious, that life at home and outside of my company is just going to kind of come together. It's just going to work out. And the reality of it is that... I normally just get more of what I've gotten before because I'm not measuring what I care about. I'm not doing a lot of these similar behaviors in my private life or personal life that we've prescribed to and bought into because they work in a professional environment. And I really, I don't know what sets the stage for that. I just find myself often, I mean, this even happened a lot with finances.

9:19 Definitely in my earlier years where I'm running 10 plus million dollar companies, but then at home, I can barely keep track of my checkbook. It's like, well, how, why am I capable of leading a professional P&L, but I can't manage my own household P&L? Well, it's just a prioritization of behavior. Well, and I think probably the vast majority of people listening to this can relate to that, right? Yeah. Is it okay if I share where my head's at for the theme? Yeah. Let's just unpack it a little bit. No, let's go there. Yeah. Just before you get going though, because something that you said to me that I thought was interesting about this, the theme and then the associate, is it associated actions? Yeah. That make that living out that theme reality?

10:01 Is that kind of that combination that you laid out that you learned from? Yeah, that's kind of the hierarchy. And I probably won't get super deep into the behaviors because I'm still fleshing them out. And the other thing I'm committing to, and I think probably most of us can relate to this as well, is that one, you set a New Year's resolution, I'm going to lose 40 pounds this year, or I'm going to go to the gym four plus times per week, or I'm going to have a weekly date night with my spouse, or we set these things in front of us. Yeah. And we don't properly count the cost. of what that's going to require of us to live that out. Oh, sure. Right? And certainly that's been my flaw every single time. Or even create a strategy, right? Any kind of strategy, right? And so then you get, you start to encounter some resistance and all of a sudden, either one, it may not feel like it's worth it because you realize, you know, well, this is what it's going to require.

10:51 And that's when people stop going to the gym, you know, six, eight weeks into it. It's like, oh, this feels like shit, you know? And it's like, well, yeah, that's part of it. Yeah, you didn't count the cost. Yeah. Right. You want hypertrophy. You want your muscles to grow, but that, that means you have to bust out the set to failure, you know, and that really doesn't feel good. Right. You can't skip leg day and that really never feel, nobody likes leg day. Okay. Right. But no, let me, if I can, let me talk about kind of where I'm at with my theme, because it's actually very hard for me to come up with a singular theme like Donald Miller talked about, because I feel like as maybe a lot of people coming out to the end of the year, particularly in our industry, I mean, this is a rough year.

11:34 It was a positive year and a promising year for floodlight and many of our clients and growth. But we were also experiencing some of the weirdness of the economy and the lack of... All that stuff. We were seeing it, feeling it. Election year, all the stresses of that. All those things. And so I think a lot of times we're coming out of it and we have... We have so many different things we feel like need to change, need to grow, got to do this better this next year. And it's like, so aligning around a single theme has been hard for me. And actually, literally, as we just started this conversation, I think the word came to me for my theme. Oh, there we go. Therapeutic. Yeah, it really is. Public therapy. So the week before we went to break, we kind of turned the lights off at Floodlight for about 10 days at the end of the year and between this first of the year.

12:22 And before that, I had a meeting with Wayne. Everybody's starting to figure out just how much of a catalyst Wayne is for change within Floodlight. And no doubt with many of our clients that he's had interactions with. That's right. Yeah. Hard to hate that guy. We've given Wayne some mammoth responsibilities and a big role within the company as we've been growing. And he takes it very seriously. And he's reliably intentional and very thoughtful. He never just... lurches into action without thinking. He just gives so much thought and then he executes. He executes 100%, right? And so he was devising some new processes and systems for us managing all of our calendar events because we have a lot of things happening all at once at any given time in the company.

13:08 And then our folder system, kind of the nomenclature of how do we name files so that as our team continues to grow, people can find things. Yep. Novel idea. Yeah, right? Yeah, it's great. Like, how do I go find this thing in Drive when we're naming things, all different kind of stuff, right? It's really difficult. It's an important piece. Now, for me, as somebody who's not very detail-oriented, I can rationalize that out loud now. But my normal response to what we name file folders is, if I'm honest, I don't give a shit. Yeah. That's just my, that's my natural response. Yeah. It doesn't keep you up at night. Because my nature is not such in this particular area to think four or five steps down the line about the person three months from now that needs to find that client assessment that I did, right?

13:59 Like, that's just not my nature. Yeah. So anyways, Wayne's developing this file system and naming of what are we naming our calendar events and so forth. And he creates a step-by-step process. Yeah. that he emails to all of us, including me. And then to take a step further, because he's very thorough, he creates a loom video walking through how to do it. Like, so no matter how much of a monkey I'm feeling like that day, I can watch the video and I'd be like, okay, I can watch him typing and creating the folders. He's just very thorough. Now, move forward two or three days and I'm creating new folders for a new client that we're onboarding and I'm adding new calendar events to the system.

14:41 And I did not follow the process 100%. I glossed over his instructions. I feel like I got the spirit of the instructions and I did an 85% version of it. Unfortunately, with this kind of solution, right? Doing 85% doesn't solve the problem. Yeah. This ain't horseshoes. Right? Yeah. So anyway, Wayne reaches out to me and says, hey, can we talk? And I know what's happening when Wayne says, hey, can we talk? And he says, he says, listen, Chris, when I ask for your, you know, cooperation on something, like we have a new process that you have asked me, I'm one of the owners, right? When, when you and Brandon have said, hey, you've charged me with this assignment. I'm like, You want me to do this and I do it.

15:22 And I give you instructions of how I need you to comply with these things in order for the new system to work. And I spell it out very, very, very specifically. I take a lot of time to think through. These are all the instructions of how we're gonna do this as a team. And then I, not only that, but I make a video walking through exactly it, right? So regardless who's looking at this, They have the information to fully implement what I'm asking them to do. And then you don't. He said, the impression that I get from that, the feeling that gives me is that you don't value my time as much as yours. That my time isn't worth as much as yours. And I wanted to talk to you about that before it affects our relationship more than it already has.

16:06 I mean, not only is that a perfect example of leadership behavior and tone and messaging, but I just couldn't ignore it. And literally, I've been thinking about that conversation for the last three weeks since we had it. Yeah. And the other thing I know about Wayne is Wayne is not one of those micromanagers that is going to jump on somebody the first sign of noncompliance. Yeah. Hey, right. He understands, you know, we're going to make some errors and whatnot. Yeah. But the problem is, is that that kind of thing is a pattern with me. And that's what that really identified for me. It's a pattern really throughout my whole career. And frankly, it started, I kind of talked to you about this a little bit yesterday. Like I remember reading the book Strength Finder.

16:46 And I think some, potentially some of our listeners will relate to this, right? And Strength Finder 2.0, right? By the Gallup organization. You know, the big thing is research shows that it doesn't make sense to try to turn your weaknesses into a strength. Yeah. Like me getting really good at accounting, that makes no sense. When I can go out and get better and better and better at sales, public speaking, the things that I love to do and I'm very good at. Yeah. The research affirms that, you know, that don't spend a ton of time trying to make your weaknesses a strength. Focus on making your strengths like super strengths. Boy, I loved hearing that. You know, this is 15 years ago. I think I read that. I'm like, oh yeah, that's right. You know, I'm not any of that. I'm all of this.

17:28 But I missed the other part of the message in that book, which is how important it is at being responsible for ourselves to build systems around our weaknesses. Yeah. So that at a minimum, we're doing damage control. So that our weaknesses don't negatively affect us or the people we work with. Yeah. And I think for whatever reason, just maturity at the time, 15 years ago, is I just, I didn't bother with that part. And while I don't want to present myself as a total monkey in the kitchen here, but because I've definitely worked on shoring up, you know, those areas. Yeah. But there are still these glaring gaps that Wayne helped me identify. And I think it's, frankly, it's a little bit of a character defect.

18:10 And you were carrying that into vacation. I was. It was stuff you were chewing on. Some of the reflection on the deck chairs of the boat, you know? Sure, yeah. So for me, the theme is reliability. Interesting. Okay. So for me, the theme is reliability because I think what happened as I started to lean into that conversation with Wayne is I started to think about, okay, where else am I doing this? Am I not putting proper attention? And it's interesting because to me, reliability is absolutely related to discipline. And those of you that listen to the podcast, you heard me last year and a lot of our shows talk about discipline. I'm serious about discipline. It's been humbling to me over the last few weeks to think about just to recognize that as honed in as I am on discipline in certain areas of my life, this conversation with Wayne and some of the other associated examples of that We're just a total blind spot in a lot of ways.

19:01 Yeah. You know? Yeah. So I'm excited about this theme because I, in all of this reflection, I'm realizing that just how much this affects me and my ability to, well, and I think the respect of my fellow team members, if I'm honest, you know, nobody likes to think about that. But I think the reality is I've really disappointed some of the people on our team at different intervals throughout the year because of examples of that, of not naming the folder, the thing it's supposed to be named. Yeah. It causes problems, it causes friction, it's frustration, you know, for other people on the team. But then I started to kind of think through, okay, how is it possible that there's elements of this in other parts of my life too, right?

19:44 Sure. There's blind spots in terms of reliability where I'm not showing up or I'm just unaware. Yeah. I maybe I'm self-deceived where I think I'm showing up fully in this relationship or that relationship. But are there examples of what Wayne brought to my attention that... that are present in other parts of my life, whether it be, you know, church or kids sports or the volunteering types of things I'm doing or some of my friendships, you know, where there's aspects where I'm not reliable in the way that I would want to be. Like you're seeing the universal positive impact if you were to focus on that throughout the year.

20:25 Yeah. Yeah, for sure. That's interesting. So right now then the work that you're essentially kind of doing in the background is trying to determine almost this strategy or these kind of behaviors that support and or make you in quotes more reliable. Yeah. Because, you know, I've had enough experiences at 44 looking back over the years where it's like you, you, you discover these blind spots, you discover these deficiencies in your character or in your discipline or whatever. And it's like, Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah. I'm going to do better. You know, we do this in our marriages. It's like, oh, well, I'll work on that. I'll do better. But I think in a number of cases, I haven't taken the steps to identify, okay, but what does that look like?

21:07 What does it look like for me to be better? What is that going to require of you? That's what I'm wrestling with right now. And I have some ideas, but for example, I think a lot of it comes back to disciplines. What routines and disciplines am I going to build into my schedule each week in order that I might be more reliable? So one of the things I'm wrestling with right now is my morning process. So one discipline that I've been very, that I'm happy with my level of success on is my fitness and my nutrition. And I think about, okay, I can reliably get to the gym three, four times a week, like clockwork. Well, how do I do that? Well, first of all, I schedule it in.

21:47 I know when I'm going to go. I traditionally go Monday, Wednesday, Friday. And if I can't make one of those days, I make up for it on Saturday. It's just clockwork for me. It's become clockwork. I had to really work on it, right? But, and so the question is, what kind of calendar routine do I need to create for myself? Do I need to change when I'm working out? Do I need to start to prioritize my wake up time at a certain time so that I can get the workout out of the way? So I have extra bandwidth in the afternoon, evening. in order to be able to catch up and or prepare for the next day. so that I can be reliable in a handful of different ways. You know, as an example, we have our leadership team meeting at Floodlight on Friday mornings.

22:28 And one thing I've been guilty of is showing up unprepared. You know, get caught up in sales meetings and get caught up with client sessions and various things that I'm involved in and webinars and da-da-da. And, oh, you know, and then I'm rolling into that meeting, glancing at the agenda as the meeting's in process. Yeah. Right? If I'm honest with myself, I'm not impressed by that. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not impressed with myself. Like when I judge other leaders that we work with, right? When I judge myself by the same standard that I judge others, it's like not impressed. It's not prepared. It's not reliable. So one of the rhythms that I'm looking at is on Thursday afternoons, building in a half hour slot as I close my day where it's for that.

23:14 So at a bare minimum, right, I can come in understanding what the agenda and the direction of it is for this new primary inputs that I need to be prepared to, you know, on my part to speak into and so forth. That's just one example. But... I think as I look at this model of kind of focus and planning, this Donald Miller thing, I'm really trying to prioritize simplicity because I know that one of the mistakes I've made in previous years of making goals and plans for myself is that... I so overcomplicate all the different targets I'm going to be shooting at. Yeah, right. That with the complexity and the chaos of just life and business, one by one, things just start to fall off my plate.

23:57 Yeah. I can't focus on it. Right. Right. Yeah. And so I'm really trying to focus in, and hopefully just in the next few days here, so I'm not into February by the time I have this personal plan, right? Right, right, exactly. Dang it, Donald Miller, you didn't send me the email until like four days ago. Why can't you send it on the 25th of December? Where were you? That's right. So I'm trying to take... categories of behaviors. Yeah. Right? So like I put together a calendar plan and that's maybe one of my supporting behaviors is how I'm managing my time and what commitments am I making, non-negotiables am I putting in my calendar as an example. Yeah. Liftify.com forward slash bloodlight.

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26:07 So AnswerForce.com forward slash answerforce.com. blood light. Sounds great. CNR Magazine, we're friends with all the folks at CNR. Michelle and her team, they do a great job of keeping their ear to the ground and reporting all the important information from our industry. Right? You want to stay up on all the M&A activity and what the latest best practices are for selling your company successfully. Right? She's got that. Great articles about all the four quadrants of our business. Right? CNR is constantly pushing out great material and leveraging great writers and subject matter experts in our industry. It is the water cooler of our industry. So if you're not subscribed, go to cnrmagazine.com. Follow them on LinkedIn.

26:47 Follow Michelle on LinkedIn. Trust us. If you're trying to stay on top of everything happening in the industry, your best destination is cnrmagazine.com. You guys, many of you have already heard about actionable insights and the training and the technical expertise that they bring to the industry. But how many of you are already leveraging the actionable insights profile for Xactimate? That's the game changer. It's essentially an AI tool that's walking alongside of you as you write your estimate, bringing things to your attention that should be added, that could be considered. All of them items that increase our profitability, increase the effectiveness and the consistency of that scope. And it can do anything from helping a new team member assimilate some estimating best practices.

27:32 And it also helps the grizzled vets add back that few percent that we've just forgot over time. So actionable insights, get insights.org forward slash floodlight and take a look at what the actionable insights exactimate profile could be doing for you and your team. So anyway, that's kind of how I'm thinking about it. And hopefully they like that idea. Yeah. I think that the strategy that I think makes this more beneficial than the old like swag and prayer in terms of an annual New Year's resolution is you're actually taking the time to process through this intentionally enough where you're like, But how will I do that? Yeah, it's a real plan.

28:13 It's a real plan. And I think New Year's resolutions tend to be, like you said, you know, it's the first, I'm going to start doing tax. I'm fat. I need to lose weight. Yeah. And I've done that a million times. I get all super motivated about something. You know, by the time the end of Q1 happens, like life has just absolutely kicked my ass. I can't even remember why I was motivated to do the other thing. So can I tell you one thing that I went in before the new year? Because that was another thing. As I started thinking, I had the waiting conference a bit, right? In December, I actually started thinking about this stuff. This is the first year I've probably done the most reflection and planning this year than I have done in several years. And one of the things I started on was, part of it is, this is an easy place for me to double down because again, I already have some established disciplines around fitness, nutrition.

28:57 So one of the goals I've had for a while, I haven't had the discipline in this way is I really wanted to work on my legs. I'm one of those guys that whenever possible, I would skip leg days because leg days suck. I feel like every time we go into the gym, you're like, which leg workouts? Or what are we doing for legs? Well, because I know I need to, but in terms of me actually like executing and really working on building my legs, that's a different story. And so I just knew I haven't put in the effort yet to do what I want to do there, right? And so- Part of it is when I go into the gym, I just work really hard. I don't have a lot of direction or a lot of focus. And so in December, I downloaded this app that I'd been thinking of downloading for like the last three years.

29:41 I've been watching these YouTube videos. It's called Renaissance Periodization, the RP Hypertrophy app. So if any of you are trying to get jacked, Dr. Mike. That's the app. Yeah, yeah. It's the RP app. You can Google it. Anyway, but I've never used apps when I work out. I never keep a journal. I don't keep... I hate that stuff, to be honest. I don't track my calories. None of that. Anybody who's ever done anything like really trying to achieve a high level of fitness, you know, like they're really pushing the envelope. They'll tell you, like, you got to freaking do that. You need to have some sort of consistency where you're progressing, whatever. Yeah. And so a few weeks into December, I downloaded the app and I started using them on my fifth week in this program.

30:26 Yeah. And I'm seeing results. My legs are getting stronger. I'm seeing them in the mirror for the very first time my whole life. I've always had fairly skinny legs, actually. And it's incredibly motivating for me. And the only reason I bring this up is that I think maybe there's a best practice there that I'm going to continue deploying as I move forward, which is I think sometimes when we're trying to like create significant change. And for me, I have a lot of things that I want to really improve on and grow into this year. I think maybe it's a really great place to start in an area that you're confident with. Like you already have some established pattern. Yeah. Because for me- Like almost assured success to a certain extent. Yeah, I noticed that here in these last few weeks and when I was on vacation in following and tracking with this app, it was really, really helpful to me.

31:13 Nice. And I actually discovered yesterday because I tried to skip a day. I had missed my gym day on Friday, but I have a program for Friday. And this app is such that you cannot just skip a workout. Oh, okay. It makes you complete it. Okay. So like I had to complete my... That put it back in front of you. I had to complete my third workout of the week on Monday because I hadn't completed. And I was like, I love that. because it forces me to complete the whole program. It's like a six-week program. Yeah. I got to do every freaking set. It won't let me skip anything. Love it. Yeah. Anyway, all that to say, I just, I found that very motivating to start in December with that thing that I already felt kind of confident in.

31:55 Like, I just want to go to the next level kind of thing. Yeah. And it ended up really getting my head in the right place of, okay, where else do I want to... I'm proving to myself I can lock this in. Yeah. Yeah. What would it look like if I locked in some of these behaviors around being more reliable in my professional role? And then how many different downstream positive effects is that going to create in my life? Yeah. Which is another reason why I'm really kind of aligning around this reliability thing. It's like I want to be... a more reliable person. When I look at the people, the business leaders, the entrepreneurs that I most admire, that's, and I step back and I look, that's one of the things that is part of their character and part of the way they roll.

32:40 Yeah, for sure. I think, you know, the other thing that I think is kind of interesting, big picture with what you're talking about is, and this is an encouragement, I think, especially to business owners, is, There is a weight on us. Whether we intentionally embrace that or take it on is kind of irrelevant. There's this reality that the people around you are looking to you for the standard. I think we were just referring to a Homozy piece that came out not too long ago about like, look, if your best is at 80%, understand that your team never gets 100% of what you're doing. Right? So it's like inevitably it's degrading from there, whatever the case may be. Anyways, my point is, is it's so easy for us as business owners or the head of the household or whatever you want to paint yourself as.

33:25 It's a lot easier to say, do as I say and not as I do. Or what you're doing is you're... placing so much value in your work ethic, your grind, that you're forgetting about all the other real life aspects that you and your character and your persona bring to the table. Yeah. And you lose track of the effect of that on those around you. And we continue to kind of like give ourselves an excuse to not modify that. A get out of jail free card because we're in quotes own it or in quotes we're the leader. And man, I think that the downside to that is how long I can watch myself and others go on perpetuating some pain, some friction, some anxiety and headaches for themselves because they just aren't willing to slow down long enough to say, okay, look, at a principal level, this is a challenging behavior or characteristic that I have.

34:22 And if I continue just to ignore it or act as if it doesn't require any time and attention on my part to make it better, I'm going to continue to suffer the consequences of that. And for some reason, it just can be very challenging for us to take responsibility in that. So one of the things, just kind of a nod to you, an affirmation for you is, I will tell you, man, like, Every time I've seen someone in our company or in our sphere challenge you in a way that's meaningful, meaning they came prepared and thought about it. It wasn't emotional outburst. you inevitably will sit down in that and decide, okay, what about this is true?

35:03 And it does make you consciously decide what and how you can do something about it. And that is, I think, to me, just a very admirable characteristic of you. And so I think part of where I'm going with all this is... I think there's an encouragement for all of us. And so instead of looking at this whole kind of like New Year's resolution from this kind of tongue-in-cheek thing, but just this idea that leaders, head of households, partner spouses in relationships, owning companies, we do have a responsibility to take stock of our kind of natural way that we show up and ask ourselves, which of my weaknesses, not if I have them, But which of my weaknesses are actually playing such a negative role in my organization, in my relationships, that ignoring it's no longer an option.

35:56 Yeah. And not doing that out of guilt or shame, or it's just, just play to win. Yeah. Right? Don't play to be right, play to win. And then ask yourself, what can I do? And I think this idea of creating a theme and then really taking the time to unpack several behaviors or things that you can do to actually change that behavior in a measurable way, that's powerful. That to me is kind of like one of those core self-accountability functions that just is profound. It'll change your business. It'll change the way you lead. It'll change the way that you have in terms of relationships. I think one of the things that we've pointed to a lot as an example, and I think it just affirms you in what you're doing is...

36:42 Look, even when you crush at work, which is very common for producers, for builders, right? Those kind of driving personalities, man, there's just so many areas that can be broken that really rob you from doing the experiences that you're creating when you're winning. Yeah. You know, in these other categories. Yeah. And so I think one of the things I appreciate about what you're doing is you're saying, you know, it's not just important enough to win here in this category. I need to bring a more robust approach to what I'm doing and what I'm responsible for. And I think that's epic. I've been kind of really chewing on this one. And I am in a weird state because I must feel weird saying it.

37:27 Dude, my whole thing this year is I got to get in touch with my spirituality. So I know for like a lot of our listeners, I mean, we kind of have the group runs the gambit. I mean, we kind of have folks from all walks of life. And so, you know, maybe for you, that spirituality can look a myriad of different ways. I'm not saying that, you know, it's a, you know, you have to be committed to anything. For me right now, I have experienced in the past things or realities in my life where when I was much closer to and more consistent in my faith practices and really sitting in that space and thinking about it and processing how it should be influencing my life and understanding.

38:13 and where it should be having an impact on me and changing me, right? I have felt like I'm just a better person in general. I feel like that I approach my relationships better. I feel like I approach my responsibilities better. I run high octane. I'm a high anxiety guy on default. And that can be really shitty, to be honest. Like there's elements of it that create a great deal of momentum. And then there's also just this brain battle that I'm constantly in a state of. And those of you that are listening that have high anxiety, which a lot of operators do... you know what I mean. Like it is the devil that at time when I embrace it the right way certainly helps me, but there's a cost to it.

38:57 And so one of the things I've just witnessed in my past is that when I am more intentional about my spiritual life, That just tends to be, I don't want to say managed. It just seems to have a more appropriate context that makes me healthier. I don't know what the theme is yet, but I've already began to take some actions. And I won't name anybody, but reach out to some people in our sphere of just like, hey, I see this in you. This is something I want to be investing more time and energy in this year. Can we talk about that? And I think that that's important. So I think almost I'm beginning to kind of set into motion something that I think I could boil down to a theme very easily.

39:44 But then I'm already beginning to take these kind of, I don't want to say nominal, but little actions that I know then are going to help the reality of that thing, that focus coming to fruition. So I think that's the pocket I'm going to hang in this year is, is, really just doing some new refreshed wrestling with my faith and where I want that to be influencing my world and what adjustments I'll be making in relationship to that. But I've got some work to do to create my theme and kind of come up with my supporting course of action. But I love this idea, man. I love it a lot. You know, for me, I think part of what stoked us is my father dying earlier this year.

40:25 Sure. Yeah. You know, it's just front and center for me. Like Epictetus, famous Stoic, asked the question, posed the question. How long will it be before you demand the best of yourself? Interesting comment. Yeah. It always stuck to me. I actually have a tattoo of Epictetus on my left bicep. And it just challenges me. Yeah. And with my father passing, it just really... made sort of the brevity of life very present to me. And it really has motivated me. Over the course of the years, it's been a struggle. But in reflecting, like I said, over the break, that's really what's driving it.

41:08 It's like, you know, how long am I going to give myself a free pass for these little things? how long am I going to kind of rely on my position or my role or my influence to disregard these things? When am I going to demand the best of myself? Yeah. Love it. And I just, there was a big part of me that was like, you know what? Why would I not make it this year? Yeah. There's no, none of us have guarantees. We don't know if we got another year. That's right. I don't know if I got another year to model that for my boys. That's another thing that's really motivated me too, is just like, I'm realizing it's funny. I was having a conversation about parenting the other day with a buddy of mine.

41:51 He's got younger kids. And I don't know that he asked me for advice or anything necessarily, but it was just like, we were chatting about parenting and so forth. And, and I just said, you know, more and more as I get older, I'm, I don't know that my kids ever needed me to teach them a single thing. I think really all my kids need is to see me doing, like I'm seeing this in my boys. It's interesting that that perspective is somewhat new for me in the last like five to 10 years. My first 10 years of like raising my daughter is 19, three years older than my other boys. It was a lot of that traditional parenting, discipline, expectations, requirements, you know, and just in guiding and shit.

42:33 And of course, some of that is very much part of the process. Kids are younger and so forth. But I feel like as, especially as they get into like, 12, 13, 14 and up, right? I'm just more and more convinced the only thing that matters is what I show them, what I do, how I treat them, how I treat them in all of my day-to-day interactions, how they see me treating their mother, right? how they see me treating and interacting when we're with my extended family, the energy that I bring to my work, the intentionality that I bring to all the things that I choose to do, right? Like I'm starting to see that. There's a difference I see in how my boys are approaching things versus my daughter.

43:16 It's not better or worse. It's just different. And I think it's because... I've been able to be a lot more intentional about my modeling versus my telling. 100%. I spend all my time telling my daughter what she should or shouldn't be doing. Yeah. And instead, I think over the last several years, my boys have just seen me more consistently doing and they imitate it, you know? Yeah. And I find that like in some ways, like it makes me very happy, you know, to see that I've been able to transfer some positive behaviors and things like that. And it motivates me to get some of my other shit together. Yeah, for sure. Like all the more important years.

43:57 Yeah. Oh my gosh. Right. Like how, and so I'm even thinking about my theme of reliability. Like how does that relate to my boys? Like where in my relation to my boys, am I being unreliable or am I projecting the behaviors of an unreliable person? Where can I introduce more reliability and consistency and discipline so that potentially they choose to imitate those things? Yeah. The little, the big and little things. Like one of the things that's been coming up for me that I'm going to need my wife's collaboration on, and I think she'll be very much for it, is for a long time, we've had no set cadence for dinners and family meals. Oh, okay. Yeah.

44:37 we just kind of figure it out amongst all the other things we have going on. And I'm probably the most guilty about that. I actually cook a lot in our house, but I don't have any kind of consistency around that. And I think, I actually believe that that's, my kids feel that. Like there's just a lack of structure in that part of our way we do life. And I'm like, you know, I think there actually might be a lot of value to having a more consistent kid, even if it is just one night a week. We do dinner at six o'clock. You know, it's like every Friday we do six o'clock dinner at whatever. I don't know what that is yet. I'm just, but these are the ways that I'm thinking about it, you know? And yeah, I think, again, I think those are all different things that point towards this idea of reliability. And sometimes it's perception, right?

45:18 Like what kinds of things do I need to be aware of or potentially be practicing? so that someone's perception of me is that I'm reliable. So in that particular case, it could be... Like for them, that's an important thing in front of their mind on a consistent basis. It's right. It's like, when are we going to eat, dad? Yeah. Like that would be super reliable. Yeah. No, I love it. I think this is a pretty cool approach. And maybe many of you listening, this is something that you've already been practicing. It's a bedrock of your existence. Well, more power to you. We tip our hat. But for the rest of us mere mortals trying to get better. at strengthening up some of those weaknesses, I think this is a great solution. So just say no to New Year's resolutions and maybe think through this idea of establishing an annual theme for yourself and go the extra mile and make sure that you put down in your plan how you will actually execute on that and create the change this year that you want to see.

46:14 I'll tell you what, this is a very effective way to make changes in your business. Yeah, you want to make it the most effective, get on a podcast that reaches thousands and thousands of people. And tell them that you're going to do this thing. And tell them your theme and your supporting behaviors because that might stoke the more motivation. That is also a solution. And all of you do have permission when you see me at conferences and things like that to say, hey, Nordyke. Where are you at with the support of the haters, bro? That's right. How reliable have you been? And I'll give you the honest feedback after he tells you. Oh my goodness. He tells you his bill is out. No, I'm kidding. All right, guys. Hey, thanks for hanging out with us.

46:55 Hopefully this is a tool you can adopt and leverage in your favor. Not just yourselves personally, but maybe even your teams this year. So thanks for hanging out with us. And guys, we didn't say it on the last show. Happy freaking new year. Let's get digging into 2025 and make some cool shit happen. All right, guys. Thanks. We'll see you later. Bye. All right, everybody. Hey, thanks for joining us for another episode of Head, Heart, and Boots. And if you're enjoying the show, but you love this episode, please hit follow, formerly known as subscribe, write us a review, or share this episode with a friend. Share it on LinkedIn, share it via text, whatever. It all helps. Thanks for listening.